dr. hwu taught me what someone's eyes who was just about to give a death sentence looked liked. eyes that i would continue to see for months. hope trys to hang on to the words, but if you look in the eyes-you will see. i was sitting on the fold out chair, and i use 'fold-out' very loosely. judith was sitting on the metal chair in the corner.
"the scan showed no improvement of tumor size or amount"
"should we keep trying with the treatment to see if it will help, maybe its not enough time?"
"i do not think that is the answer. the scan showed the amount of tumors have slightly increased and tumor size has increased, (excruciating pause) increased quite a bit. the treatment is not helping"
::Quite a bit? can you use some quantitative terms mr. medical school?::
holding back a waterfall of tears, judith asked what the next step was if we were told this experimental treatment was one of our only options?
(i could see the guilt and regret and what ifs of not doing the experimental tx availible at the mayo clinic or washington univ.)
but the end result would have been the same. those decisions are just illusions of control.
only option was chemotherapy. but he was too sick at this point dr. hwu said. he could get well enough to do the treatment and do it at MD Anderson.
That was not an option. Judith's experience with md anderson was horrible. but it wasnt really the hospital, it was knowing she only had a few good non-suffering days left with the only man she has ever loved.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
something for the touts, the nuns, the grocery clerks, and you . . .
